Laughs in a book-hoarder's house

Me - Isn't there a thing about Oreos and toilets?

Them - If there is I am not searching for it on the Internet.

I - You told me about it, from a book you read.

Her - I don't remember that...

Him - Not to worry, there's plenty of books in this house, you can search them.

And why can't I search myself, you ask, dear Reader. Well, I broke my ankle on Wednesday night while running (more accurately, trying to step around a pedestrian). 

I've already watched three films with Vinn Desiel in, I suspect there will be more.